I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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