I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
