drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
