I wish i was in the wii world.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
