that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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