We're facebook friends in real life
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
