Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
