She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
