do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My balls are so social today.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize