Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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