i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
