Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
