I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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