I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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