he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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