alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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