so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
