loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize