She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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