can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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