I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize