shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
