Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
