I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
