I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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