I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
