I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
