Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
