I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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