Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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