Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
