They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
