whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How does one acquire holy water?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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