Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
