i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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