well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think my moral compass just broke
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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