Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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