yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
