I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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