Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
