is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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