He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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