So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize