You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm bleeding and have questions
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
