I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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