I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
