And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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