If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
