I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So vagazzling was a success
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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