If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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