Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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