hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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