fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
