I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
