im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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