Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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