I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
