im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
