cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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