Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
where am i from again
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
