Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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