Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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