ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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