So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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