Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
