I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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