Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
