doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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