Dual....:-)
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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