so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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